October 28, 2008

high anxiety registration

Students are registering for the winter semester this week and boy am I slammed at work! First off, the advisors here really busted booty to get the files completed and aid paid for students that were late. That's because we're nice. The big deal now is the people who are just now paying their balances and need the hold removed from their account. And, again, since we're nice, we are transferring them to the proper office. I remember when it was so stressful to register because if you didn't get into the class, you would have to wait to take it, it's not like there were enough spaces for everyone like with higher degree programs. Ahhh, the beauty of already having the first degree.

Speaking of which, if one more person calls and tells me they already have their bachelorette degree I'm going to cry. A bachelorette is a single woman, not the piece of paper that claims you're smart.

October 24, 2008

face follow up

Best friend is in school to be a counselor and although she's not my counselor, she sometimes sneaks in her little techniques to our conversations. We were talking about relationships a few nights ago and I was telling her about my dream about the guy with the face. Her insight was that it was something that Jesus would do and was wondering if it were some way that God chose to speak to my heart. Interesting.

We were talking again last night about something unrelated and it occurred to me that I am tend to be leary of the supernatural God stuff, even though I think I have had at least one experience. But I won't tell you mine until you tell me yours! What supernatural God experience have you had?

October 23, 2008

15 things I have learned this week

In no particular order:

1. I enjoy having a routine
2. I like the idea of getting up at 5:00 much more than actually getting up at 5:00
3. Snooze buttons are addictive
4. I know how to play the game and I'm good at it
5. An inflatable monkey can do wonders
6. I enjoy politics
7. Everything is connected to everything else
8. I'd like to think I don't have prejudices, but I do
9. Poetry can make me cry and laugh
10. I don't miss cigarettes nearly as much as I thought I would
11. I would like to get to know him better
12. I tend to look at the big picture and that's not always a good thing
13. Some people are really bad at answering their cell phone and it annoys me
14. I have issues
15. Work productivity decreases when facebook and blogging increases

October 20, 2008

He had a face!

Have you ever had one of those dreams that was so great and you woke up, but all you really wanted to do was go back to sleep and pick up where you left off?

I've had a weird weekend, but let me start from the beginning.

The Lord and I have been having some serious conversations lately, with my 31st birthday looming in a couple of months. I had thought 30 would be hard, but it's been fun but being single is still nagging my heart strings and with the exception of my physical appearance which is slowly...painfully slowly changing, I'm feeling pretty good with where I'm at and like I'm ready to be in a relationship. So, the Lord and I have been talking about His painfully slow process in making that all happen. I know all the things to think and say - His timing is perfect, He sees everything....yeah yeah yeah, somehow that doesn't make it so easy right now. But I'm living with it. Constantly trying not to over analyze every interaction with certain men I know, constantly evaluating my feelings to determine if any exist, and constantly asking God to just take away any feelings that might be in existance so that I don't break my own heart.

These things are very difficult to accomplish.

In the midst of all this, I have this dream, the exact kind you wish you could just go back to sleep and pick up where you left off. I was with friends, friends that I have in real life, but thinking back on it, I couldn't see their faces, which is funny because if I'm dreaming of someone I know, I can usually see their face. Anyway, we must have been on vacation, or a weekend or something because we were walking around this dock type place, like a harbor. There was this guy there, and he was a friend of a friend, I knew his name, Andrew, but he's the only one that I knew I didn't know in real life. We were walking down these steps, this group of us, and I'm not sure which happened first, either I started to fall, or this Andrew person grabbed me, but it ended up that he caught me and we were standing in sort of a dip posture, like dancing. He was really close to my face and he said, "I would never let you fall, I think you're wonderful." Of course, right at THAT moment, I woke up, but here's the weirdest part. Each time I have dreams like that, or I dream of someone I don't know, they never have a face. He had a face. Andrew. Andrew had a face. I don't know him. None of the people in this dream that I knew had faces.

I don't think it means anything, of course, it was just strange. And nice. The thought of someone catching me, thinking I'm wonderful...very appealing. Pray for patience :)

October 16, 2008

Additional Blog

So, if you read this blog you may not be interested in the other one, but I created a new blog for my cohort. If you're interested in education, both K12 and Higher Ed, you might enjoy it once it gets going (there isn't anything there yet, I just created it today). Anyway, it's located here if you're ever interested.

Not much else to talk about today. After class last night I went home and watched the debate while I cleaned my room. Talked to Best Friend for a little while, she said she enjoys that I watch the debates like I'm watching a football game - I talk back, I tell McCain to shut up a lot, I cheer a lot...it's better that way :)

And I feel better that my room is almost clean. I am a neat freak. I am an organization freak. But my car and my bedroom show the worst of it if I get busy or overwhelmed. What it basically came down to is that I have too much stuff and my bedroom is too tiny. While reading Ecclesiastes for bible study, I decided that since everything is meaningless and most people spend a LOT of time accumulating things, I would see how it felt to spend a LOT of time purging things. It was hard at first, because I tend to be sentimental. I am having a hard time getting rid of the Tickle Me Elmo that was given to me in college by a very dear friend who has dropped off the face of the planet, moved away without a word. I think about him a lot and it's tough to give away something he gave me. But other stuff wasn't quite so hard. Like clothes. And shoes.

I would like to redecorate my room. When I painted it, I painted it under the presumption that I would not be living there, it would be a guest room. But I live there. And I don't want to live in a guest room. But I can't make up my mind about what color, etc. Right now it's a celedon green color, kind of a muted tone, with creamy off white trim and closet doors. My furniture is a dark wood, I would call it cherry. By my furniture, I mean my dresser because I am having the most awful time finding nightstands that match that aren't four times as much as I paid for the dresser. And I have no bed stuff, just a metal frame and mattresses. Money is an issue, so I try to do things on the cheap because I'm trying to make my life debt free and all extra money goes to paying off school loans. That's another topic, my debt management plan is going well, I have paid off thousands of dollars of debt this year! Another time, another time...

I'll keep you posted about the decorating.

October 15, 2008

Getting deeper

My bible study changed formats about six months ago, maybe even longer than that, and I can't imagine it being any different. We meeting weekly, but we alternate between meeting as a large group, and splitting up between men and women. We've been meeting for 3 years now and have experienced the death of parents, marriages, and births together. There are some folks that float in and out of our circle, college students, parents, siblings, and of course, the randoms :) The women recently completed a Beth Moore study together, but it didn't quite serve the purpose for which we intended, which was to get deeper with each other. New people came in, others got behind in the schedule and couldn't catch up, people missed...it did serve God's purpose in fellowship and learning, of course, but there have been some dramas and wounds that have prevented us from getting deeper than that. The original three women in the group are still close, one woman that married in seems to be keeping her own distance, and the suggestion to get deeper is finally coming from her, so I take that as a good sign. The last woman that was part of the first couple to join beyond the core group of us (we had been together almost a year before she and her husband joined us) has stated several times that she has been so wounded in the past that she simply does not keep women friends, something that truly breaks my heart because I value women friendships so deeply, but can understand the wounded part as well. And finally, as of late, a random has been coming pretty regularly, a girl who just graduated from a Christian college, whom none of us know very well.

At a party recently a few of us were talking about this very topic, about how we don't necessarily feel comfortable disclosing personal things to people we don't know. One of the women said that she once wanted to join a bible study held by her neighbor because it was close to her house, they knew people there already, etc. but later found out that it was a closed bible study.

It seems odd that something like a bible study would not be open to everyone, however, in this position I'm in now, I can see the value of that, but it's for my own comfort. Does anyone belong to a closed study? Is it closed for certain lengths of time, and open others? Calling all opinions!

October 13, 2008

Back to Blogging

I've realized, as I'm sitting here waiting for my colleague to return from lunch so I can work on work type things, that I've not written in months. Excluding of course, the torture I put you through for my homework writing. But that doesn't count! Homework doesn't count for blogging friends, that's cheating. Unless it's a homework blog. Which this is not. It's a blog about my life. Or lack thereof as of late.

I was really concerned that I would be overwhelmed and have no time for anything when I started school again. I have never worked full time and took classes, too. I have always lived on campus while going to school. However at this moment, I am living 45 minutes from campus, working full time, and taking two classes. This is a lot. Some really good homework moments are spent driving to work, and although I'm not the only one driving (thanks carpooling ladies!) it's not always easy to read about politics when there's office drama to hear about.

Usually the way I handle this is to allow myself one activity in a weekend. It's getting harder to do that, though, because the holidays are getting closer, and although I'm keeping up with my homework, I'm not being so tasky and utilizing my lunch hours to complete papers, rather than utlizing them to watch shows online like I would prefer.

This weekend, though, I splurged. I did homework Friday at lunch, and a tiny bit before church yesterday, but other than that, I had a homework free weekend! On Friday I watched tv and vegged, had class Saturday morning, but then went pumpking patching and had family over for dinner. Sunday I went to church early and got to hold babies all morning long, it was great! After church I went to my community group (the equivalent of a small group) and had brunch. I spent the rest of the day with my best friend at her new house, eating snacks and drinking wine and laughing out butts off, enjoying the beautiful warm weather.

Now, it is back to the grind, verifying files, talking to yelling parents and students, and homework...but I still love it all!